“She would or she wouldn’t, and there was an end of it. Thus it is, we study, plan and prepare ourselves for a task, and when the hour for action arrives, we find that the system we have followed with such labour and pride does not fit the occasion; and then there’s nothing for us to do but rely on something within us, some innate capacity for knowing and doing, which we did not know we possessed until the hour of our great need brought it to light.”
Anne Sullivan penned those words in a letter to a fellow schoolteacher about Helen Keller. Anne was an excellent teacher, but Helen left her undone.
The re-doing of them both necessitated creating a completely separate environment for them both to eek through the changes and come to a new response to life.
I am asked on a daily basis “how do you do it?” Meaning how do you have someone who is autistic, or differently-abled as we called our students at Ability 2 Work and Baker’s Treat, function so well, happily even when they are presented with tasks and sensory input they have been averse to.
I don’t have any secrets to share with you. I have a universal truth, which has always stood and will never change:
Love, acceptance, authentic support and awareness will always usher magnificent beneficial growth.
It’s never been a secret; it’s a matter of acting in accordance with the universal truth.
I am a stickler for many things. The Ability 2 Work honor code being the first.
Pettiness? Gossip? Drama? These attributes are not present at Ability 2 Work because it’s against our honor code. Culinary staff, support staff and management know we have an honor code: Love, accept, support, stretch, grow (but don’t surprise), celebrate the small changes, respect, value—support.
To be honest there was a time, back when we started, when weeding out those who chose not to abide by the honor code was necessary. It was necessary to harvest the authentic support each student deserves and facilitates to “thrive” at Ability 2 Work.
Beyond access to job choices Ability 2 Work provides at Baker’s Treat, we provide for the human desire to be valued for our contribution. We operate on a whole person model. Social, emotional, conceptual, behavioral, and technical skills are all attended to at Ability 2 Work. And each differently-abled person has their unique needs addressed, in the way that suits their issues.
My staff, the community, and the customers tell me daily how much they value us—our contribution. Yet, there are times folks come into Baker’s Treat wrapped up in themselves and what they want.
To be honest, it’s difficult for me to imagine someone so self-involved. They will complain that something organic made by hand, that tastes out of this world (and comes from a Top #20 NJ Bakery/Restaurant) should be “cheaper, faster,” Sigh. Then there are those who come in our doors and do not give a fig about our mission—our heart—the reason ‘why” we exist. Double sigh.
And then there are the parents of the differently-abled who want to be with Ability 2 Work, at no cost—or want someone else to pay for the cost. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
I have not found a place that I can get 5-star quality of any genre free. Have you?
And then there are the Angels -our customers, supporters, community parents, staff – who uphold our honor code. They are inspiring and amazing.
But then there are “the kids”. The differently-abled. Each with their own unique set of challenges. And in the face of those challenges persevering, triumphing, thriving.
My son is one of them. I remember years ago when some “expert” was informing me “for my own good” to accept that my son was always going to be autistic, I thought, “Well duh! He’s always going to be autistic, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t entitled as a human being to opportunity, happiness, and acceptance!”
So the hour of need arrived when he “graduated”. Everything I studied and knew was not adequate to the task. And there was nothing for me to do but to find the innate capacity for knowing and doing. I didn’t know I possessed it until the hour of great need arrived.
Yesterday, I just gave one of many tours to folks who want to know “how did you?” This group was special education teachers.
The general sentiment: “I can’t get my head around all of this—how do you….”
On tours the teachers observed our students working. They observed our direct support persons, our staff—our methods and as usual were “blown away by what you do.”
I know part of what is deep inside me is that innate quality Ann Sullivan spoke about: I abhor mediocrity. It’s what I’ve told my clients for years, “You get what you think you deserve and settle for.”
Humans, including the differently-abled, should never be taught to settle. We do each other and ourselves a disservice to perpetuate the false belief that “this is how it is”.
If you are the parent of a differently-abled person, I applauded your rejection of the box: schools, programs and ignorance placing your child within the box. I also applauded that innate ability within you to find the knowing and doing. But find it you must. No one else will. If you settle for the status quo your child will be isolated, marginalized, unseen, unvalued.
Your fears, your beliefs in what limits your child, will be a burden upon your child. Trust your honor code. Trust the love that demands you stretch your concepts for your child while authentically supporting them. All human beings are entitled to thrive, demand that for your self and for your child.
I don’t know who your angels will be. I can tell you we get new ones daily at Ability 2Work/Baker’s Treat. So will you. It’s another universal truth: ask and ye shall receive.
I can tell you that no matter your child’s ability; love, authentic support, the whole person model will work—because your child is human and it’s what a human being requires and deserves. It’s your honor code.
There will always be the few who want it cheaper and faster. They will stare at you in restaurants. Be angry when you are going down stairs too slow. Frown when their child has to sit near your’s at an event.
Don’t accept their mediocrity. But then, your innate capacity will remind you of that in your hour of great need.